I was raised to put everyone else first and now I feel invisible

It hit me recently that I was raised to have low self-worth—and I didn’t even realize it until now. I was taught to never be a burden, to always keep quiet about my own needs, and to make sure everyone else was okay before even thinking about myself.

It sounds noble on the surface, but it’s exhausting. And now that I’ve become more aware of it, I can see how deep it goes. I catch myself saying things like:

“Don’t worry about me.”

“I’m fine.”

“You go ahead first.”

And I don’t say those things because I mean them. I say them because it feels wrong to take up space. Like my comfort doesn’t matter. Like I need to shrink myself so others can feel good.

Lately I’ve been trying to unlearn it. I’ve made the choice to stop saying these things, even if it feels uncomfortable. I want to respect myself more. I am allowed to have needs. I’m allowed to speak up. I’m allowed to take up space.

It feels like I'm reprogramming my brain, honestly. Some days I do well. Other days I catch myself falling back into old patterns. But the more I notice it, the more I realize how common it probably is—especially for people who were raised to "be good" by staying quiet, helpful, and invisible.

Has anyone else here gone through this? Have you noticed these kinds of self-erasing phrases in yourself or others? I'd love to hear if anyone’s tried to break out of this mindset and how they did it.

Maybe we could share some of these hidden "low self-worth" phrases with each other so we can all start noticing them more. The first step is catching yourself, right?