Worried all boys game too much now

I’m genuinely scared my sons will grow up thinking gaming is more important than real life, because that’s what I keep seeing around me.

I’ve been reading a lot of threads here about men and gaming, and I can’t stop thinking about how often the two are connected. You see one post after another about emotionally unavailable or uninvolved partners, and again and again, gaming pops up as part of the problem. But then in threads about kids and gaming, it’s like the tone totally shifts—suddenly gaming is this great, harmless hobby with tons of social benefits. I don’t get how both can be true.

I have two young boys, both under 3, and I honestly dread the day they start getting into gaming. When I was in school, the kids who gamed a lot started disappearing from everything else. Some were the stereotypical introverted guys who were never that into sports or parties, but a lot of them were the popular ones—fun, social, outgoing—and then gaming just swallowed them up. They’d skip events, leave early to get online, show up late to class because they stayed up playing. It wasn’t just a phase for some of them either. I know a few who are now in their 30s and still spend more time on a headset than with their own families.

I get that there’s a social aspect to gaming, especially now. But let’s be honest—it’s not the same kind of socializing you get in person. It’s not learning how to read a room or pick up on someone’s mood or be present in a moment. It’s not building real-world connections. It’s sitting in a chair with a headset on, in a bubble.

What really worries me is that boys are basically expected to game now. In conversations where people talk about being disappointed to have sons because of things like football and gaming, there’s always pushback—“not all boys are into that,” “lots of girls game too.” But in my experience, nearly every boy I know is into gaming in some form. Sure, more girls are gaming now than before, but it still doesn’t seem nearly as common. Most of the girls I know are into casual phone games. It’s not dominating their evenings.

I’m not saying I’ll ban it entirely. That’s probably impossible. But I don’t want my kids to grow up thinking gaming is the only way to relax or connect. I want them to experience life outside of screens—sports, music, hanging out in person, getting bored and figuring out how to deal with it. That’s how you grow.

Is anyone else worried about this? Especially other parents of boys? Do they grow out of it or does it just become their whole identity if it starts too young?