Why do some parents only vacation without their kids?

I’m seeing this more and more lately, and I just can’t stay quiet about it anymore. Couples who book trips, take time off work, fly off for “well-deserved” getaways — but only when their kids aren’t around. The moment the kids come back? Suddenly it’s back to working double shifts, answering emails at dinner, and barely having energy to ask how their day was.

And it makes me genuinely sad. Not angry. Just… sad. Because I’ve seen the way some children silently compare their lives to classmates who come home from summer break with stories of plane rides, hotel breakfasts, or even just road trips with their families. Meanwhile, these other kids stay home every vacation — not because there’s no money or time — but because the time off was already spent on adults-only trips.

Let’s be real: kids remember how you made them feel more than what you bought them. And when they’re constantly left behind while mom and dad are out “recharging,” what they learn is that they’re not the priority.

Of course adults need a break. Of course alone time is important in a relationship. But when all your vacation time goes into romantic weekends or girls’/guys’ trips, and there’s nothing left when your kids are home — that’s not balance. That’s neglect, dressed up as “self-care.”

And then there are the weddings. People struggling financially, barely able to afford school shoes or birthday parties for their kids — but suddenly they find money for the big dress, the venue, the honeymoon. It’s painful to watch. Especially when the same people turn around and say “we can’t afford to take the kids anywhere this year.”

Kids grow up fast. Too fast. One day you blink and they’re packing for college. They won’t remember how many Instagrammable meals you had on your last couples retreat — but they will remember every summer they stayed home, wondering why they never got to be part of those “special memories.”

So please — take that trip with your kids. Make them part of the joy. Create memories that they’ll carry with them. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It just has to include them.