My mom makes me feel guilty all the time

No matter what I do, she finds a way to make me feel like a bad daughter—even when I try to do something nice for myself.

My mom’s the kind of person who sees independence as rejection. If I visit her, it’s “not long enough.” If I don’t visit, it’s “you never make time for me.” When I took a new job in another city, she didn’t say congratulations—she said, “So you’re leaving me now?”

For a long time I gave in. Changed plans. Canceled things. I thought if I just tried harder, she’d finally be proud of me. But the guilt never stopped—because it was never really about me. It was about control.

I started setting small boundaries: calling when it worked for me, not just when she demanded it. It wasn’t easy, but over time, I started living my own life. You can love your family and still protect your peace.