My abusive ex just had a baby and i can’t stop thinking about it

I’m in a good place now. I’ve moved on, I’m safe, and I’m with someone kind, calm, and emotionally stable — someone who makes me feel secure every day. But something’s been weighing on me lately, and even though I know it’s not “my business,” I can’t stop thinking about it. So I’m writing here to get it off my chest.

Years ago, I was in a relationship with someone who was emotionally and physically abusive. The emotional abuse was constant and cruel — it wasn’t just yelling or bad moods, it was deliberate tearing down. Insults disguised as jokes, endless criticism, unpredictable rage. He was controlling, harsh, and could not regulate his emotions. And when his anger got the best of him, he’d explode — shouting, slamming doors, throwing things, breaking stuff. He even tried to hurt me physically, but thankfully, he never succeeded in going far. Still, it was terrifying.

We had a child, and even though the child was very young then, it was clear that his anger extended to them, too. He wasn’t nurturing. He was loud, impatient, and easily frustrated. There was no real bond between them because he never gave it a chance to grow — he was always too busy being angry. The final straw for me was when he screamed at our child over something completely trivial. I realized I could no longer justify staying with someone who treated their child that way, let alone someone who treated me that way, too. I left, and I’ve never looked back.

Years later, I heard through someone that he’s just had a baby with someone new. And my heart sank.

I know it’s not my place to judge what happens in someone else’s life — and I don’t wish bad things on anyone. But I can’t help thinking about that baby. That tiny, helpless child being raised by someone I know, without any doubt, has no control over his rage. Someone who has never taken responsibility for the way he treated people. Someone who blamed everyone else for his actions and never changed.

It breaks my heart. Because I’ve seen firsthand how that kind of environment shapes a child. I’ve watched a little one shrink in fear at a raised voice. I’ve watched the confusion on a toddler’s face when a parent, supposed to love and protect them, becomes a source of fear instead.

I know people can change — in theory. But in his case, I doubt it. He never took steps toward growth. Never sought help. Never apologized. He moved on, leaving behind a trail of damage and pretending it never happened.

And yes, I know this isn’t mine to fix. I’ve made my peace. I’ve healed. I’ve created a good life. But I needed to write this out. Not because I want revenge or drama, but because sometimes you carry the sadness for the people who come next. For the children who won’t understand what they’re walking into.

I’m incredibly grateful I got out. And I’m even more thankful that my child has grown up surrounded by love and stability now.