Husband says parents shouldn’t play with kids

My husband believes parents should never play with their kids—and that ours are the most dependent children he’s ever seen. I’m honestly speechless.

We have four kids, ages 5 to 13. Lately, my husband and I have been clashing over parenting. His view is that children should be completely self-reliant, to the point where parents shouldn't even join them for bike rides, games, or time on the trampoline. He thinks playing with your kids makes them needy and dependent. He’s even said this directly to them when they ask us to come join their play.

His idea is that kids should fully manage their own screen time, playtime, routines—basically their whole day—without any input from us. The only exception, in his mind, is that we cook meals. Everything else, he says, they should figure out on their own.

I couldn’t disagree more. I believe in balance. Yes, kids need to play on their own and learn independence, but I also think connection with parents is important—and play is a huge part of that. Our kids do spend plenty of time on their own and with each other. They play in the backyard without needing us, ride bikes, visit friends (the older ones walk or cycle there alone), and all four have at least one regular activity outside of school. They’ve all done sleepovers. They’re independent in the ways that matter, especially considering their ages.

But I also think it’s okay—and even good—for us to join them sometimes. A little time jumping on the trampoline, playing a board game, or going on a bike ride with them shouldn’t be seen as a weakness. It’s a way to bond, laugh, and show them they matter to us. To me, that’s part of being an involved parent.

Am I missing something here? Is my husband’s approach more common than I think? Curious what others believe about this kind of “hands-off” parenting. Is playing with your kids really a bad thing?