How to move on when your partner doesn’t want more kids

I’m really struggling with something emotionally, and I’m hoping there are others out there who’ve been through something similar.

I’m a parent to two wonderful kids who I love more than anything. They bring so much joy, chaos, laughter, and meaning into my life. But for as long as I can remember, I’ve always pictured myself with three children. It’s just something that’s always felt natural — like the family I thought I’d have one day.

The issue is, my partner is absolutely done. After our second child, he made it very clear that he doesn’t want any more. And he’s not uncertain or “maybe later” — it’s a firm no. He’s a great parent and incredibly present, but he feels two is the right number for our family, both emotionally and practically. And I respect that. I really do. I know parenting is a joint decision and that both people need to be on board when it comes to adding another child.

But that doesn’t stop the ache I feel.

It’s been a few years now, and I still feel a deep longing for one more. Not just the baby part — the whole journey. The growing family. The dynamic of three siblings. The feeling that someone is missing, even though no one technically is. And honestly, it hurts. There’s a grief in this that I didn’t expect. It’s like I’m mourning the child I’ll never have, even though life is full and beautiful in so many other ways.

I don’t talk about it much in real life because I feel like people don’t really understand. “You already have two healthy kids, be grateful!” — and of course I am. Immensely. But it’s still possible to feel gratitude and sadness at the same time.

So here I am, asking:

Has anyone else gone through this?

How do you let go of the dream of having more kids when your partner doesn't feel the same?

How do you truly move on and stop that part of your heart from tugging every time you see a growing family?

Any thoughts, advice, or just knowing I’m not the only one would mean a lot right now.