How to balance single parenting and much-needed me time

I really miss having time for myself or just some adult time!

I’m a single mom to a 14-year-old who is always at home. She’s very social, active in sports, and often stays over at friends’ houses. But when I ask her to spend a night away—on the rare occasion I have a free evening and want to go out with my own friends—it becomes an issue.

Take today, for example: earlier this week, I asked her to arrange a sleepover with a friend or stay with a family member because I had plans tonight. Everything seemed fine. But now that the day has come, she’s decided she “doesn’t feel like it,” and I’m expected to cancel my plans at the last minute.

To me, an agreement is an agreement. How will she handle life if she thinks it’s okay to back out of plans whenever she feels like it, especially when it impacts others?

It’s hard to have a calm conversation with her about this because, at her age, emotions run high, and her arguments often seem irrational. She also tends to compare us unfairly—like how she sees her friends every day, but I only meet mine once every few months.

I don’t want to force her out or make her feel unwelcome, but I do need her to understand that I value our agreements and that I rely on her to follow through so I can occasionally have time for myself. How would you handle this situation? What’s reasonable when it comes to balancing parenting and personal time?