Feeling lost as a mom – Am I the only one struggling like this?

I constantly feel like I’m failing as a mom. I can’t seem to figure out my parenting style, and I feel like I’m in a never-ending cycle of trying something new, going back to the old way, then trying something different again. It’s like nothing works for long—what seems effective one week suddenly stops working the next.

For the first three years, I was all about gentle parenting. Then, her daycare suggested we set firmer boundaries, so we tried that. When that didn’t work, we went even stricter—but then I felt like my daughter was pulling away from us, so we eased up again. Now, our parenting is just a mix of whatever feels right in the moment, depending on our energy levels and her mood.

She’s incredibly strong-willed, with a level of energy that never seems to run out. Every adult who spends time with her comments on it: “Wow, is she always this full of energy?” 😅 She is absolutely amazing, but she also pushes me to my limits, and I constantly worry about whether I’m guiding her the right way—helping her nurture her strengths while also setting the right boundaries.

I love her so much, and I want nothing more than to be a good mom to her. But it breaks my heart to think that maybe I’m not. I don’t know if this fear is just my own self-doubt whispering in my ear, or if I really am failing her.

Is it normal to feel this way? Do other moms go through this, or am I just completely lost?