Fed up with my stepson and useless partner – need them out

I am beyond exhausted with my stepson and my passive partner. Two years ago, my boyfriend moved in with me because I had the bigger house, and his ex-wife kept their home after the divorce. The agreement was that he would pay me a small rent of $200 a month (which is nothing for a nice home in this area) and split utilities, internet, and other expenses. His son was supposed to stay with us every other weekend.

At first, it went okay, but soon he started falling behind on rent and skipping his share of the bills. He constantly "forgot" to buy groceries, so I ended up covering nearly all the food costs. I let it slide for months, but eventually, I put my foot down. He caught up on rent but never paid me back what he owed from before. His excuse? That I’m "well-off" and shouldn't be so stingy about money.

Now, on top of that, his son is here way more than planned—easily 50–60% of the time, staying three to four nights a week. I think he prefers it here over his mom’s small apartment. He’s 16, has behavioral issues, and has broken things in the house. He’s rude to me and, worst of all, scares my 7-year-old son. When he brings over his friends, they take over the basement, stay up playing games late into the night, and help themselves to my food and drinks. My son is too afraid to go downstairs when they're there. When I ask them to quiet down, I get insulted in front of everyone, including my own child.

It’s worse than just disrespect—my stepson has threatened and even physically hurt my son. I’ve talked to my partner multiple times, but nothing changes. He always excuses his son’s behavior with his "diagnoses and struggles" and says we need to "work on the relationship." But how am I supposed to make my son feel safe when he’s practically being tormented?

I’m not some evil stepmother trying to keep my stepson from his dad, but it’s exhausting, expensive, and emotionally draining when his father doesn’t even contribute. The worst part? My son is so fed up that he wants to live with his dad full-time now—he says he doesn’t feel safe here and wants to "get stronger so he won’t have to be scared anymore."

Two months ago, my ex-husband made it clear: either my stepson leaves, or he will change our custody agreement. He refuses to let our son be around my stepson at all.

I finally gave my boyfriend an ultimatum—either move out with his son, or strictly keep visitations to every other weekend with zero overlap with my son. He reluctantly agreed to the second option, but of course, hasn’t stuck to it. His son keeps showing up, often when I’m at work and my son is home alone. There have been times when my son has been threatened or even hit during these hours.

A month ago, I’d had enough. I told my boyfriend to move out immediately. But he’s still here, claiming it’s "hard to find a place" nearby. Meanwhile, my ex is furious and refuses to send our son here until my stepson is completely gone.

How do I get my boyfriend out as fast as possible? I’m beyond done with this situation.