Family still treats me like a child

I’m in my 30s, have a job, live a normal life—but my family still talks to me like I’m 10 and it’s honestly starting to break me.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s when I was 12. Ever since, certain people in my family have treated me differently. I don’t mean in a supportive way—I mean they talk to me like I’m a little kid, even though I’m a fully grown adult with a job, bills, and responsibilities like anyone else.

Whenever we’re all together, I feel invisible. If I try to join a conversation or give an opinion, they either ignore me completely or talk over me like what I said didn’t matter. And if they do respond, it’s often in a tone you’d use with a child. Not malicious, just patronizing. Like I’m incapable of understanding adult topics or making decisions.

It doesn’t matter that I’ve lived on my own, handled my own finances, and worked hard to build an independent life. In their eyes, I’ll always be "different"—someone who needs help or can't be trusted to get things right. They don’t say that out loud, but it’s there in how they speak to me, the way they explain basic things like I’ve never heard of them before, or how they question every choice I make like I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’ve tried to bring it up, gently, but it never lands. I get brushed off with “We’re just trying to help” or “You’re imagining things.” I’m not. I’ve had enough experiences with people outside my family treating me like a regular adult to know the difference.

I’m starting to think they’ll never really see me for who I am now. I’m not perfect, and yes, I process the world a bit differently—but I’m not a child. I don’t need to be coddled. I just want to be taken seriously.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing? Does it ever change, or did you just learn to live with it?